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"To be (a John) or not to be (a John)
That is the question"
Apologies to Prince Hamlet of William Shakespeare fame
Mary1 detected, and has confirmed through thorough and meticulous, statistically valid research (she was a market researcher in her past, so she is skilled at this), that there is a sub-conscious, unspoken worry that exists amongst certain 'non-Johns'. This issue is not voiced. It manifests as Mary1-contact avoidance. Not good. A passive aggressive approach to issue resolution is not the way to go. Unnecessary self-denial is painful. Ask anyone fasting over Ramadan. And that pain is necessary. It is for a higher cause. Mary1 is no higher cause, let us be Frank.
The issue is the assumption by a small group of non-Johns that should a non-John spend time (any time, whether it be a coffee, an alcoholic beverage, a meal, a mountain walk, a sail, a surf or any other activity) with Mary1, then they would automatically gain the status of a John. Feel those non-Johns freeze with fear.
To many a non-John, this is a worry. They do not wish to be thought of as a John, to be a John, let alone star in the Chronicles of Mary1, a.k.a Project Boyfriend. Bottom line they have no interest in Mary1 in that sort of way, the romantic way, in other words. But, they would like to spend time with Mary1 on a social un-John way. Dilemma. Paralysis.
Non-Johns, non-Johns, non-Johns. Groan. This is childish. Mary1 once called her clients, an enormous international auditing firm no less, 'childish' in a meeting. Her boss has never let her forget. This is on a par with the auditing firm, I am afraid. Childish.
For the record, not all non-Johns suffer from this psychological affliction. Mary1 did state that this is a dilemma of a specific group of non-johns. And the non-sufferers, the non-Johns who hang out with Mary1, are all the happier for it.
Let us for a moment reflect on Mary1's social activities of the past 10 days: she had a long, lazy drink with John60 who is now a non-John (he has a girlfriend), dinner a deux with a married non-John who has been friends with Mary1 for forever, went sailing with four non-Johns (one married, three single), had sundowners with a non-John (engaged) and has planned a weekend meeting with John12 (has a girlfriend). Now, not one of those non-Johns has the remotest romantic interest in Mary1. But, clearly they sought her company. Mary1 has very firm boundaries. She respects the choices made by these non-Johns and has not let such get in the way of a getogether every now and again.
Mary1 is clairsentient. She knows when a chap is a John or non-John. She knows when a non-John has no John potential. That is the beauty about men. They are transparent to Mary1 in that lovely way that only men can boast. So Mary1 finds it rather sad really that there are a handful of really worthwhile non-Johns who she misses out on socialising with given their 'John-issue'.
Mary1 is a great believer in the works of Eckhart Tolle. She subscribes to the concepts of non-resistance, non-attachment and non-judgment when it comes to her John and non-John 'relationships'. This means her John and non-John experiences are positive and life-enhancing and do not cause angst or drama. Mary1 is so over drama. Perhaps the little group of scared non-Johns ought to read 'A New Earth' by Eckhart Tolle. Then meet Mary1 and discuss it while practicing non-resistance, non-attachment and non-judgment! You never know, non-Johns. It could be fun!
Mary1's parting message for the fearful non-Johns comes from Nelson Mandela who said: "May your choices reflect your hopes not your fears."