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Horticulture is an art and a science and revolves around the growing of plants. Sounds easy. So many folk have gardens. Roof top gardens are in vogue too these days. Who doesn't grow plants? However, to be successful at this endeavour requires more than a two-minute chat with the chap at the nursery. It requires a lot of thought ranging from, inter alia, soil compatibility considerations, water requirements, nutrient supplementation, and access to natural light. To get it right is not assured. A glance at some people's gardens will attest to that. And don't blame water restrictions.
It is not too different when it comes to relationships really. To grow that relationship into a thriving entity requires much consideration of the various areas of potential compatibility or non-compatibility. It is hopeless trying to get that sun-loving girl to remain sunny when she is alongside a dreary shady down-at-the-mouth kind of chap. No, opposites do not attract in all aspects of relationships. Especially in the sunny versus shady department. Like a plant really. Ever tried to get an Azalea to flourish in the dry, arid Karoo without intervention? Or to get that cactus to bloom in a rain forest. Quite. Same, same with people.
So when Mary1 met John49 she considered the necessary. There was much to consider: firstly educational and occupational compatibility; put down your hands and cease chastising Mary1 for her seemingly snobbish comment: Mary1 struggles to converse meaningfully with physicists as she is not that bright and by the same token she battles with the more practical fellows who yawn when she enthuses over the latest spot price of platinum. Or the implications of Brexit, Trump, a downgrade et cetera. John49 and Mary1 were suitably well-matched in this department. Then there are those more snuggly things like values and mores, aspirations and intentions, and the dreaded financial attitudes - gosh, that is a potential minefield, she wants to spend on xyz, he wants to invest in abc, blah, blah. This information is a little more tricky to collect. This horticulture business is quite exhausting really. No wonder experts are called in. As in the case of tricky relationships. Sadly John49 was not very generous as far as sharing is concerned. He was a big question asker, but not a question answerer. He dodged questions by responding with another question. So irritating. Mary1 had done her due diligence and knew the profession he was in, his successes were all over the internet as they are. But, it was difficult for Mary1 to glean meaningful knowhow on John49. He was a closed-book so to speak. Mary1 is an open book. Guess who did the giving? Guess who gave nothing?
The date was a pleasant enough one; coffee morphed into a long late luncheon. That is usually a good sign. It is when the date ends after one coffee that one gets the hint. The hint of no interest. That said, John49 did not contact Mary1 again.
Mary1 is a sun-loving, open-bloom kind of gal. John49 is a shady, spiky kind of chap. No-one needs an expert to explain this lack of compatibility. Which is fine. Botanical gardens are magnificent, boasting the sun-lovers and the shady varieties but not in the same bed.