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There's a wonderful Japanese proverb Deru kugi utareru - "The nail that sticks out gets hammered down". Along the same lines is "The tall poppy gets cut down" from whence 'Tall Poppy Syndrome' is derived. These describe the resentment that develops of those whose accomplishments elevate them in prominence above their erstwhile peers. The aim of the aggrieved is not to improve but to bring the better guy down to their level.
This trait has morphed into a fear of being noticed, too. There are many whom do not wish to be noticed, do not wish to be that tall poppy or that nail which is sticking out for whatever reason. So, they keep 'low', and resent anyone who is conspicuous, is noticed, is seemingly a tall poppy. Their wish is to cut that tall poppy down or to hammer down that nail metaphorically. Very commonplace. Mary1 has noticed. She is a conspicuous kind of a gal and many a John is attracted to this personality trait. That said, the very trait that attracted them to Mary1 in the outset, becomes the focus of resentment. Ready to be hammered in or cut down.
John42 was bowled over by Mary1's effervescence. No, she is not being arrogant. She was told so by John42 who could not keep his eyes (or hands) off Mary1 from the moment they met. Their first date took place in the rather alternative, yet vibey seaside village evening market, at the bar. Mary1 is partial to 'champagne', so that was an attraction. They serve a half decent local methode cap classique.
The evening was really good fun, other friends joined them and Mary1 and John42 had a mighty fine evening all in all. John42 was a 'nice' chap. Sadly he lacked a bit of self-confidence. He was a bit of a laid-back (read: half-baked) kind of a chap which may or may not be linked to his self-esteem deficit. This may or may not explain his relative lack of ambition. He had performed 'okay-ish' in his career, he said. He is in the highly competitive media arena and whilst having earned himself a fair reputation seemed to Mary1 as if he was the unfortunate bearer of inertia; he had cement in his boots, she thought. He was a bit 'lomp' to borrow a lovely local phrase.
This may explain why after a few dates John42 started getting antsy with Mary1. He began to hush her. Red alert. Mary1 was married to a husher. And look how well that turned out. Not well. When Mary1 laughs out loud at a hilarious whatever, she is not partial to being told to 'shhhhhh'. Or given the death stare by her date in response to the same stimulus. Needless to say, Mary1 felt sorry for John42. She could read between the 'shhhh's'. He was suffering from Tall Poppy Syndrome. She could tell.
Mary1's life-long dream is to be a doctor. One of her, actually the only, regret she has is that she didn't go back to school, to a cram college, get that A-aggregate and do medicine. She didn't. It is what it is. And as much as she loves the medical field, she even works in the medical field, she is not seeking to treat her Johns. She does not plan to fix anyone. She has no intention of curing any John of any syndrome, including Tall Poppy Syndrome.
She'll leave that to the professionals.