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So what is the post-date etiquette? Or to put it more simply, what are the do's and don'ts regarding contacting your date after the first date? Who contacts whom? When? When not? Many a promising relationship has been sabotaged over this relatively minor aspect of the dating dance. That is because there is no rule it seems. But Mary1 does respond to what transpires and that is the crux of the matter.
What a glorious day! Picture the scene: vineyard setting, crisp farm wine, spectacular meal. John55 and Mary1 meet for the first time for a lovely Sunday luncheon. And lovely it was. Very lovely, especially the wine, I mean the view. Oh, and John55.
Time passed easily and the conversation was quirky and interesting to Mary1. You see, John55 is in the film industry and thus operated in a diametrically different environs to that in which Mary1 operates. Mary1's work environs is academic, rigid and scientific. The film industry is not. Fresh, fun, energised, creative and stimulating was how John55's work life sounded. I was enthralled. I pictured myself balancing on some precarious scaffolding watching John55 directing the show. How exciting. Oh, and sitting in a director's chair. I could picture self in one. With "John55" written on the back of the chair.
John55 was also fascinating in that he was a serial non-committer. He had never married. He had fathered a couple of children by arrangement. He was a sperm donor to be frank. He copulated with the now mum-of-the-children for the express purpose of producing offspring for her. Not for him. That said, he appears to be an involved father, albeit that he does not live with them and is not responsible for them at all. He sounds like a great playmate for them, actually. A playmate with a wallet. Useful.
The luncheon ended when the sun set as it does. "That was super!" said John55 in his delicious purring British accent as we bade farewell, "Call me!"
Call me.
I was troubled by this. John55 said that I should call him. I gave this instruction / suggestion some deep and meaningful thought time. It was a dilemma. If I did not call John55, then he may not call me out of an egoic fear of rejection. Then I would not hear from him again. Alternatively, if I did call then he may think that I am as keen as a lizard and then it would be game over and so he would not call me after that as he would lose interest. Men like a challenge and all that jazz. I was in a pickle so to speak.
I am old-fashioned kind of girl. I could not call John55. And John55 did not call me either.
You know what? If he had really liked me, he would have called, just saying.