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David2 was the most adoring fellow I could ever have come across. You know the saying 'if it sounds too good to be true then it probably is" ... that was David2. Too good to be true. Literally.
That said, he 'dumped' me before we met. That is why he is called David, not John. David2 said he could tell I was only into relationships for what I could get out of them and that I was one of those women who is on the take. Only there for the good times. Not around when the excrement hits the proverbial fan. He said he could tell without even meeting me. I was quite taken aback. I started to doubt myself. That is rare. I seldom doubt myself. It is one of my more positive attributes. It was disturbing. I reflected upon this issue. For at least 10 minutes until the penny dropped. And did it drop. Let me rewind. Let's take a little peep at the past.
I 'met' David2 online. He was quick to WhatsApp me as soon as I divulged my number to him and was very soon calling me too. Often. Like a couple of times a day, to check in and see how my day was going. How sweet. A bit over-functioning but endearing and flattering, I suppose. He was foreign. I do love that foreign touch. High emotional intelligence. Able to speak from the heart. Less egoic than the local fellows. What a breath of fresh air. He said he came from France but had lived in Aberdeen in Scotland all his adult life. My grandfather was born there so there was a warm fuzzy connection. David2 was sadly widowed and his one and only heir lived in the USA. He lived in Cape Town and had moved to Cape Town in order to start a new life.
Two days after we 'met', but before we could actually meet, David2 flew off to Lagos to sort out a business drama of sorts. He was an importer. His stock was stuck in customs and he needed to get it released. Off he flew. He called me from Cape Town International Airport. He called me from OR Tambo. He called me from his hotel room at the airport hotel in Johannesburg. Then he went quiet. For 18 hours or so. Weird. But then again, some people are a bit surprising (read: weird).
Then he called me from a new number. He had to use an MTN SIM card he said while in Lagos. But he had a problem. Would I mind buying some airtime for him so he could telephone me (a lot) while he was away. I said that MTN is huge in Nigeria - there were 57 million subscribers in Nigeria at the end of 2015, that is huge, let's be Frank - and he would be able to source airtime very easily in Lagos, even in the hotel lobby I suggested. He said he had no cash with which to do so and needed some airtime right away. It was Sunday and he wouldn't be able to get cash until the next morning. Really? In 2015? No cash on a Sunday? Mmmmmm. I held my tongue. He said it was tricky in Nigeria. Things work differently, there. And that I wouldn't understand. I thought he would need about R300 worth of airtime. He asked for R900 worth of airtime. Who would need so much airtime overnight? Anyway, I obliged. It's only money and I am a kind sort of gal. Fast forward a couple of days. We chatted. A lot. He let me hear the birds twittering outside his hotel window. Sounded like he was at the World of Birds. He was very, very dear.
Then he had a drama back home in Cape Town. He was busy renovating his house and ADT wanted to install the alarm but would not do so prior to being paid upfront. "They are pulling a fast one on you" I exclaimed. " ... because you are a foreigner." Tell them from me that in Africa the work is done and then they'll be paid!" David2 was not happy. He said his secretary was being badgered by ADT and he really needed to get the alarm installed. He said he wanted to pay. I said "Then pay! but don't come crying to me when you have no comeback leverage!" Ever sympathetic I am towards idiocy. There was a technical hitch. David2 couldn't pay from Lagos. Can't recall the reason why he could not do so. I suggested he transfer funds out of his Scotland accounts. He must surely have funds there to access. After all he was a man of means it appeared and would naturally have not brought it all out to Africa. Heaven forbid. Please tell me he didn't. He said he couldn't do that as there was a time delay with cross-border transfers. He told me I wouldn't understand as I am just a lovely, sweet woman and couldn't possibly be expected to understand the mechanics of international finance. I told him I started my career back in 1989 in finance. Just saying. And my understanding thereof was sophisticated to say the least. I was beginning to feel like a sweet, little lady as he kept telling me not to worry myself about these highly complex issues. I wouldn't and didn't need to understand. All David2 wanted was for me to pay ADT on his behalf and then he would pay me back as soon as he returned in a week. All he needed was a payment of R 7 900. In his secretary's account.
I was getting a bit twitched. And felt uncomfortable. I said I would really like to help him but sadly didn't have R 7 900 on call to loan him. He got ratty with me and said he was beginning to doubt my intentions. Were they honourable? Blah, blah. Then he sent me a beautiful bouquet of red roses which were delivered to my office. How did he know where I worked? Google me! There in shiny twinkly lights is my work address and contact telephone number! And a whole lot more. Like quotes of what I have said on occasion. Eat your heart out Kim Kardashian, you're not the only one. Clever David2.
He apologised for getting ratty with me but said he was stressed. Red alert Mary1. That is such a 'standard' (to quote my son and heir) excuse. Groan. That male trait of excusing bad behaviour on the back of stress is so yesterday. And so not excusable. And the flowers in the mix is so predictable. Nice though. I like flowers.
Two days later David2 was very down. Depressed almost. He was battling to get his stock released. He had been visiting the customs daily. "They" wanted him to pay them to release the stock. He had paid the import duties. But now there was another demand. I explained that this sounded like typical Africa-style bribery going on. "Pay the bribe. There is no other way. Classify the additional expense as 'marketing costs'" I suggested. "This is Africa. You don't understand, David. It is what it is." This was my line of reasoning. A day or so went by. David2 was having no luck getting his stock released. He had not paid the bribe. Why? David2 had no access to instant cash. He had to get the cash to the chaps within a specified period or they would return the goods to sender. And he wouldn't be able to source the funds fast enough. I asked him how much 'they' wanted. $ 15 000. I nearly passed out. I asked what the stock was valued at and then I said "That's cheap at the price. Pay!"
David2 begged me to pay the $ 15 000 for him. It would only be a short-term loan. He would be back as soon as I paid the cash over to him. He said he knew I had the capital. He knew I could pay it for him. And if I really loved him I would pay it.
Sorry? We hadn't met. Love him! From where?
David2 hung in there for a day or so and then dumped me. He could tell what kind of a woman I was and he was not interested in spending the rest of his life with someone like that!
David2 is quite right. I am not one of those women. I was a little bit like them - I did after all buy him R 900 worth of airtime - but I did not handover my portfolio to a stranger like thousands of others have done before me. 419 Romance Scamming is big business. Google it. It is jaw-droppingly fascinating. David2 is a romance scammer. And he is good. Very, very good. The typical profile of these romantic fellows: widower, foreigner, children live offshore, handsome, charming, loving, serious romantic intentions ... want to spend the rest of their life with you. And they have yet to meet you. And they never do. Because they are Nigerians (usually) who operate out of internet cafes!
Gotta love the chutzpah!