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Although in today's world we try to break the rules of the ordinary as we attempt to be extraordinary (different), sometimes it is nice to follow the rules of yesteryear. Manners and etiquette belong to yesteryear. Sadly. But on a happy note, manners and etiquette are having a revival, making a comeback, believe it or not. And thank heavens. We can thank our children. Yes. That is what I said. My first born certainly does not stand for any unchivalrous male behaviour. That is why she has only ever dated gentlemen. I am learning from my child. "It's called standards Mom. Just saying."
I blame the 1960s brigade for the absence of male-female etiquette. We women were so busy asserting ourselves and attempting to demonstrate our equal-ness in the 1980s that we left men no option but to cease chivalrous behaviours in case they inadvertently offended us. They were scared of us.
So we have put up with appalling manners ever since. This is very bad for us subconsciously as we were brought up in a chivalrous environment and this is what we subconsciously learned to be the optimal behaviour but as adults we are not the recipients of chivalry. Subconsciously we are receiving the message that we are not worthy of chivalry. Not good enough for men. Subconsciously, I said. Calm down all. This is not the case among all men. Just some less pleasant types.
John57 invited me to dine. At 7pm on a particular evening. At a specified venue. John57 did not touch base with me on the day of the date. He did not clarify our meeting arrangement either: were we to meet at the venue? Or was John57 going to fetch me? The restaurant happened to be close to my home. So as 7pm approached I decided I had better get to dinner. I walked to dinner. It was twilight and the streets are busy in my 'hood at this time so I was happy to do so. I chose to do so after all. I have a roadworthy car.
John57 ought to have boasted good manners. He was after all a tad older than me. And hence from a more chivalrous era. And with an Oxbridge education and a fine lineage one would have expected as much from John57. John57 spoke and wrote beautifully and had above-average table manners. He made no glaring errors on the table etiquette front: he did not knock over the salt and pepper shakers, he did not dip his fingers in the sauces, he did not ask for tomato sauce and he remembered to use his napkin. He held his cutlery correctly and left the cutlery in the correct position at the end of meal. And the knife blade was pointing in the correct direction. Now that is always a telling point. Have a look next time you're dining. The blade ought to point inwards. Not many know that detail. A real definer that is.
John57 did worry me a little when he displayed irritation rather than sadness upon mention of his very recently late wife. You see, he has now to supervise the staff. What a bore. What a bother. Red alert Mary1. John57 is looking for a replacement wife. To supervise the staff. Not a companion. Not the love of his life.
A very interesting dinner was had. John57 was wonderful to chat to given his vast Oxbridge-style knowledge - you can always tell a John who has been educated in that Oxbridge style, such depth of knowledge, refined ability to discuss and analyse. Such a pity so few have walked the corridors of such an institution. I do love a man who can think. And talk.
It was home time and we exited the restaurant. We crossed the street and John57 stopped at his car. And of course John57 told me how marvellous his current car is. Like I care. Like I am impressed by cars. Sorry, wrong Mary. He then bade me farewell and hopped into his foxy-ish car.
I live a stone's throw from where I was standing. John57 did not know that. But he did know that I had walked to dinner. I walked home alone. In the dark. There were street lamps on and I was fine. But still. Not a good look John57. A lift would have been nice.