The foreign touch ...

It has come to light of late that perhaps I ought not to be dating local fellows. That is, South Africans. I ought to be dating foreign men. Western foreign men, that is.

I am South African born. But I don't have a South African soul and I don't fit into the "braaivleis, rugby, sunny skies and Chevrolet" box. The sunny skies box, yes. Sunny skies as in the Mediterranean sunny skies. Rugby box? Well, as proud as I am of my son and heir's rugby achievements, I am not really a rugby kind of gal. That said, I won't miss a match starring the son and heir for anything. Almost anything. But I watch the son and heir, not the game if the truth be known. Which is fine. A braai is delicious provided I don't get the smoke in my hair. My now late and ex father-in-law, the original John, had it right: the staff braai'd around the back of the farmhouse and brought the feast to the front for serving. He was not partial to the smoke either.

You see, foreign western men are brought up by foreign western mothers. And foreign western mothers are different from South African mothers. Foreign western mothers are liberated, empowered and respected as individuals. The foreign western boy's first love is thus liberated, empowered and respected as an individual. She is who he seeks to partner with according to Freud et al. It is the mother who teaches her son emotional intelligence. If the mother thinks her place is in the kitchen, that she has little say in major household decisions ... this is the message she is sending her son: son, this is the place of the woman. And that is how the said son forms his image of women. That is what he expects from his partner, his wife. That is where the rot sets in. There is a growing trend among women South African women today to reject the lack of empowerment, lack of respect as an individual. We may have been brought up like that. But we reject it. And our menfolk are confused. "But, that is how it is! You have changed!" they cry. And marriages fail. And our children flourish as they learn that women are indeed liberated, empowered and deserve to be respected as individuals. Because their mum is. Girl children and boy children are the benefactors of the liberated, empowered and respected mother.

South African menfolk are the product of their families of origin. No blame. No shame. They are what they are. And the average South African woman is delighted with her South African man. And not many South African men will be content with a woman who is empowered, liberated and individualistic. So these liberated, empowered women have to look farther afield. Abroad. To foreign western men who were nurtured by liberated, empowered mothers.

John15 is foreign. British born but grew up internationally as the son of diplomats. He was schooled internationally and can boast that wonderful broad perspective that foreigners can. Refreshing, invigorating, attractive. I liked John14 a lot. Especially given that he is a "yachty". Owns yachts and loves sailing. Especially in the Med, just saying. We had a wonderful first and second date. I was enthralled by John15. He was so rich in experience, in outlook, in adventure stories and most importantly, his perception of women was akin to mine.

John15 has a foreign girlfriend now. I imagine she is as rich in experience, in perspective as he is. I imagine I was a little provincial for John15. Born in Cape Town, schooled in Cape Town ... live in Cape Town. What a crashing bore I must seem to the foreign western man. But, I did not give up, John46, John55, John58 and John59 are foreign ... but that's another story ...