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John22 and I met for a quick coffee at the airport Vida e Caffe. He was in town briefly for a day's business trip. It was a brief encounter but sufficiently lovely to warrant a rendezvous a week or so later. We chatted regularly after that coffee and looked forward to the long weekend that he would spend in my hometown. John22 came from up the coast.
Ten days later John22 was bringing his daughter back to university for the start of the new academic year. Her second year. I cannot recall my parents doing that. I hitched a ride in the back of a clapped out 1300 Citi Golf along with three others armed with one suitcase and ventured half way across the country to my university. No flight. No parental escort. Each to his own of course. Lucky little girl. No. I was the lucky one. The one with wings.
I recommended that John22 book into my favourite hotel as it was close to my home, central and is glorious with its mountain views. John22 planned to drop off the said daughter at university and make his way to the hotel. We would then have the long weekend together.
Daughter22 had other ideas. She didn't want to be left in res "on her own" on the first night back in town so she persuaded John22 to let her come and stay at the hotel for that night. They could have some special time together. I smelled a rat. The manipulation of the divorced Dad rat. I gracefully accepted that we would not see one another that first evening. We had a whole long weekend after all.
The new day dawned and John22 called bright and early. To say that Daughter22 wanted him to take her shopping. Bear in mind that the said daughter had just been on the long summer break and had had ample shopping time. And bearing in mind that the said daughter's car was arriving that day per public carriage so she could take herself shopping here on out. And bearing in mind that the said daughter had Dad's credit card for future purchases. That rat was very conspicuous. We would meet later that day for sundowners and then dinner starting on the patio of the glorious hotel. And Daughter22, armed with her parcels, would be safely ensconced in the arms of her fellow res mates.
The late afternoon finally arrived. As did a phone call from John22. Daughter22 did not want to return to res, just yet. "That's okay", said I, "she can join us". John22 hesitated. "She knows about you and is not happy at all", he explained. "I just cannot leave her knowing how unhappy she is about it." John22 was long divorced. John22's ex-wife had remarried. As far as I could see John22 was at liberty to have sundowners with whomever he pleased. With or without daughter sanction. I smelled the co-dependant divorced Dad rat.
We did not meet that long weekend. John22 did not want to leave a child who had become troubled over his lady meeting behind. What I should have pointed out is that John22 already had a troubled child on his hands. Prior to our planned meeting. Her reaction indicated as much. And that John22 is clearly a troubled Dad. Boundaries? Expectations? Roles? Rights? Responsibilities? John22 and Daughter22 have an interesting journey ahead of them.
Bon voyage John22 (and Daughter22).