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John33 is your ultimate family man. Make that the penultimate family man. Mary1 was married to the ultimate family man. Families are great. Especially on weekends. Especially for the Dad. He plays in the garden, makes tree huts, digs bases, rides bikes, walks dogs, kicks balls, drinks beer and chills on the veranda on weekends. Moms make food. A lot. Its exhausting playing in the garden, making tree huts, digging bases, riding bikes, walking dogs, kicking balls, drinking beer and chilling on the veranda. So the family needs to eat. A lot. And often. Mom then cleans up the debris and plans the next tranche of meals.
Now Mary1 gets the logic. Dad is being very kind and giving Mom a break. He is looking after the children. The fact that she is still working (well, not really, housewives don't really work, you know) and not in the local spa having a full body massage is not relevant. Dad is looking after the kids and she is lucky. This is Mom's special time off. Making hotdogs on Saturday afternoons is how she spends her special time off. Or burgers. Or toasted cheese sandwiches (no tomato Mom, we hate vegetation).
I have been making hotdogs for 19 and a half years. Just saying. But the truth be told once I adopted the role of mother and father on "my weekends" (kids spend alternate weekends with Dad) the catering department was contracted out. To the kids. They call it D-I-Y catering. It essentially means each man for himself. Make your own meal. He who is not motivated to do so, starves. Packet chips on snow white rolls and Coke have become the favourite option. It has worked a peach. They are all alive. And slim. Sit down lentil-lovers. I have living proof in my first and second born children that chips, rolls and Coke for Saturday lunch have no impact on academic or sporting prowess. Think straight As, academic colours. Think 1st team water polo, swimming, netball, hockey, rugby, cricket ... I rest my case. The third born is still a work-in-progress, being but 13 years of age. Shall report back in 2021 on this one.
John33 has full custody of his kids. Not joint custody. Full custody. Mrs John33 has visitation rights only. This means that John33 has his kids 99.99% of the time. I did not pry as to why this is the status quo; the truth would be too scary to digest. Not many moms lose custody of their children. John33 took little time, probably half a glass of bubbles, to tell me that he is dying to have an old-fashioned family again. He finds it a bit onerous all this child-rearing business on his own. What, with the sports fixtures, lunchboxes, lifts, meals, its exhausting. Oh, John33 chose not to have live-in staff. He does have the means to support such infrastructure, and double staff quarters at his sprawling home just over the hill from Kirstenbosch Botanical Gardens. I told him he was a silly man. Live-in staff are more useful than a spouse. Ask Mary1. She is the queen of live-in staff. They give one the time to be a normal person, not a hotdog maker. And to enjoy being a parent. Not common, although "they" pretend to love being a parent. I am not fooled.
John33 didn't have time for hobbies; golf, darts, clay pigeon shooting, poker, fishing or any other non-work orientated pastime. Because John33 was, inter alia, making hotdogs. Poor John33. He was on a mission. To find a partner. To complete the family unit. Fast. Hence our date. John33 and I had a pleasant enough date. John33 learnt a few tricks from me on how to optimise child-rearing. John33 was getting terribly excited at my enthusiasm and apparent home and child management skills. John33 was elated.
This is the point where Mary1 exited. You see, Mary1 has mastered hotdog making. Mary1 is now looking for an adult-centred relationship. Not a child-centred relationship. Mary1 is not averse to children. She has three unbelievable specimens of her own. Compromised diets and all. And she would be open to raising a whole lot more provided she did not have to give birth to any of them. Not even one more Caesar is on the cards. Too sore. And significantly, she would be happy to raise a whole lot more children with a John who wished for her to be his life companion. Adult companion. Not his children's new mother. They have one already. Yes, the person who birthed them. It seemed to me that John33 was looking to fill a post. Job profile: mother. Mary1 would be very happy to run a full household, on a D-I-Y basis on weekends, staff on duty in between, alongside her companion of choice.
John33; last advice. Find the companion. She will morph into the mother. The other way around? I don't think so. Hire some staff rather. Cheaper. And they can make the hotdogs, too.