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Did you know that one can purchase a Philips Nose, ear and eyebrow trimmer from Dischem for a mere R291-50 (even less if you use your Discovery points)? This information, and a subsequent purchase by date number 28, in advance of our first date may have saved the day.
John28 is an academic, lives in a home overlooking the ocean and has no children (or parents) - every woman's dream. I like a man with a mind, just saying. We met for gorgeous luncheon on the verandah at an upmarket winelands restaurant. He was charming, had smiling eyes and a great sense of humour. We had a easy, light, happy time.
However, John28 clearly attends a second-rate barber shop. I do know, I have a son, that barbers offer a nose, ear and eyebrow trimming service. Sadly John28 has not made use of this special service in a while, if ever. The tufts of fur growing out of his ears were so distracting that I found my eyes veering off to the left or right and I was unable to keep eye contact with him for any meaningful period of time. John28 must have thought I had a secret to hide, was a shifty sort of a girl given my version of rapid eye movement. I didn't get close enough to John28 to measure the tufts, but I hazard a guess that the tufts were at least 1cm long outside of the pinna tunnel.
Needless to say, John28 and I were not to be.
My friends were concerned that I was being a bit harsh and a suggestion was made that I recommend to John28 the likes of a trimmer or a trip to the barber shop. But, I am sorry. I already have three children and certainly don't need anymore, and my grooming advice portfolio does not extend to my partner. Besides, how embarrassing: "John28 darling, look what I bought you!" I don't think so! Poor John28.